I feel like a "runner" again.

For people who don't run, this will make no sense.  But when you start running and you're just doing shorter distances like 2 or 3 kilometres, you don't think of yourself as a "runner".  Just by getting out there, you are one, but you don't consciously feel like one.

And then you get to 5km.

There is a change, albeit a subtle one, that occurs in your brain.  Like a little lightbulb that turns on and lights up a dark corner where a sign was hanging, invisible until that magical moment: "Runner".  It's a good feeling.  You become conscious of what you eat and consider how it will fuel you.  As you move through your day-to-day routine, you are more aware of how your muscles stretch and contract, working together to grant your every wish.  Occasionally, you think about a run.  Maybe it was your last one, maybe the one that you're going to do next. Either way, that thought is there, just below the surface.

(Not my feet.)

I had almost a year off.  It was relaxing and lazy, but I'm glad to be back at out there.  I missed the people, I missed the energy I had, the crunch of leaves under my feet, the sweaty feeling after a run as your body desperately tries to cool you on a summer morning, and most of all, the feeling of being a runner.  That quiet confidence that it gives me is amazing.  I've missed it and until today I didn't have it back.

It's taken me two months to get back to 5km.  Two months of convincing my lazy ass that I should get out there instead of boiling the kettle for another cozy tea and my office chair.  Two months of running solo with no one to talk to, just listening to my breathing and the slosh of my water bottle.  Two months of routinely running to feel like a runner.  It was worth the work.  It was worth the wait.

I am a runner.