I feel like a "runner" again.

For people who don't run, this will make no sense.  But when you start running and you're just doing shorter distances like 2 or 3 kilometres, you don't think of yourself as a "runner".  Just by getting out there, you are one, but you don't consciously feel like one.

And then you get to 5km.

There is a change, albeit a subtle one, that occurs in your brain.  Like a little lightbulb that turns on and lights up a dark corner where a sign was hanging, invisible until that magical moment: "Runner".  It's a good feeling.  You become conscious of what you eat and consider how it will fuel you.  As you move through your day-to-day routine, you are more aware of how your muscles stretch and contract, working together to grant your every wish.  Occasionally, you think about a run.  Maybe it was your last one, maybe the one that you're going to do next. Either way, that thought is there, just below the surface.

(Not my feet.)

I had almost a year off.  It was relaxing and lazy, but I'm glad to be back at out there.  I missed the people, I missed the energy I had, the crunch of leaves under my feet, the sweaty feeling after a run as your body desperately tries to cool you on a summer morning, and most of all, the feeling of being a runner.  That quiet confidence that it gives me is amazing.  I've missed it and until today I didn't have it back.

It's taken me two months to get back to 5km.  Two months of convincing my lazy ass that I should get out there instead of boiling the kettle for another cozy tea and my office chair.  Two months of running solo with no one to talk to, just listening to my breathing and the slosh of my water bottle.  Two months of routinely running to feel like a runner.  It was worth the work.  It was worth the wait.

I am a runner.

So I took a year off... sort of.

In 2008, I was getting a little burnt out.  Working 50 hrs a week at a pretty stressful job, trying to settle into married life, but generally enjoy it overall.  But I wasn't happy.  I didn't feel good, I didn't have an outlet for the stress and I didn't have a lot of friends outside of work.  (And by "not a lot", I mean one.)

So I started running.  Partly because I went to buy jeans and it woke me up to the size of my own ass.  I didn't have a lot of energy or stamina.  So I started running.  And I loved it.  I ran regularly for 5 years.  Did a couple of half marathons, a bunch of 10k races, even flew to Quebec City for the Defi des Escaliers.  It was AWESOME.  I made friends, found an outlet for stress, a support network, regained some of my energy and felt good.  (And added bonus - my ass shrunk!)

Then I lost motivation.  I can't tell you why or how, but it just faded.  I would think about going for a run and then... sit.  It was like I wanted to but just couldn't get off my butt.  There were lots of excuses: too hot out, too cold out, it's raining, my bras are all in the wash, the cat's comfortable and I don't want to disturb him.  A tea and a cookie won out over miles and sweat.  I wish I knew why, but I never figured it out.

Running friends would say they missed me, ask if I was coming out, how I was doing, but nothing could really get me going again.  I even missed the sign up for my favourite race so I'll be sitting that one out this year.  (Maybe I'll go cheer on some friends.)  I tried setting goals or a schedule but I would just ignore them.  The cookies went to the hips (as Grammy warned me: a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!) and I've gained about 30-40 lbs.  My clothes don't fit and I don't feel good.  There are knots in my shoulders and I know there is more stress coming in the next 6-8 months.  So I need the outlets: my piano, writing, reading... and running.  I want it all back: the energy, the release, the challenge, and of course, the ass-shrinkage.

So, a couple of weeks ago, while my husband was out, I decided to get out there.  Just start back at the beginning at 1:1s.  I didn't say anything to anyone.  Not even my husband.  My lungs had forgotten, but my legs remembered a bit.  It was a little tough, but not horrid and I felt good afterward.  No posts on Facebook, no driving out to Run Club, nothing public.  Just quietly going for a run.  The way it really should be: becoming 'one with the road'.

Today was my second run at 2:1s and I'm still into it.  My lungs are remembering quickly and my legs only ask they I give them some TLC by stretching for at least 10 minutes afterward.  (I am happy to oblige - it's like meditation or yoga.)  I love running.  I read about it, I think about it, and now I blog about it.  I want to keep it going but I feel a little like a smoker - just have to take it a day at a time.  The only difference is that, instead of avoiding a cigarette, I'm avoiding the couch, the cat, and the cookies.

(Well, maybe just cookies.)

We have a new barbeque!

Now, when I say something like that, you picture this:

Sexy, isn't it?  *rawr*

But the reality is this:

It might not look like much, but I love it.  Our old Thermos BBQ had been rebuilt once or twice and we were doing fine with it, but when the lid fell off and we had to use paperclips to keep it on, we knew it was time.  RIP Thermos.  You were good to us.

Hello, Napoleon!  Not only is it shiny and new (I love shiny...) but we didn't have to put it together.  It came with a manual that I've read a couple of times and cookbook that I've read more than a couple of times.  BRING ON THE EXPERIMENTS!!


So what did I do first with this little gem?  Burgers.  What I believe is the true test of a bbq.  Will they cook evenly?  Will they stick to the grates or fall through?  Is it possible to avoid flare-ups and charring?

Answers: Yes.  Neither.  Absolutely.

Found a great recipe in a book and fired it up.  Rubbed the pre-heated grids with shortening and we were good to go!  Other than a few hot spots to get used to, it was a dream.  No more rebuilding parts each spring or being afraid that the wheels will fall off or the lid will drop on my foot.

I think this little baby will get quite the workout this summer.  Can't remember the last time I turned on my oven.  What's next?  Not sure.  Maybe fajitas, grilled shrimp, homemade kebabs, or even a good, old-fashioned steak.

But it came with a rotisserie too.  Hmmm....

Do grammar and spelling matter? Short answer: YES!

I am a spelling, grammar and punctuation fiend.

There.  I've said it.  Anyone who knows me, knows this is not new.  My co-workers know it.  My friends might know it.  My students definitely know it.  

Spelling, grammar and punctuation are the order that tames the chaos of thought.  When we put pen or keyboard to a blank paper or space, these rules guide us.  They provide a framework so that we might understand each other.

I'm all for adventure and spontaneity, but when it comes to communication, I need to know what you're trying to say.  It's like driving.  If you are driving on the wrong side of the road, you can't get very far.  If you don't read the signs, you'll end up at the wrong destination.  It might be just as fun (or not) but it's not the point you were trying to get to in the first place.  

Road rage is everywhere.  People are packing guns, getting out of their cars to fight, throwing things... it's all a little crazy.  It doesn't stop us from getting home or to work (unless it's extreme) but minor delays, such as those from red lights, being cut off, or not permitted to merge into a lane can send us over the edge.  

Being able to write or speak a coherent sentence is no different.  Poor spelling, grammar and punctuation slow us down, but we still get there. Why is there no "word rage"?  

(One of my favourite blog posts on grammar is The Alot is Better Than You at Everything.  It's awesome.)

I received an email from a co-worker/friend.  This person has done several years of post-secondary education, and I don't mean trade school.  (Not that there's anything wrong with trades, but I should think you don't have many essays in a trade school.)  The email was littered with punctuation.  Multiple exclamation marks.  Everything she wrote looked like this!!  It was a little crazy!!!  I had no idea how she meant her words!!!  Was she really this excited about EVERYTHING?!?!!?!   OMG!!!!

If you want to be taken seriously, you need to be able to communicate well in written form.  It's true.  If u writ lik thiz tryna git a gud job, u wont get far.  Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger.  It's your job to write the message.  Do it well, please.