Slept in until 7:00am (yes, that's sleeping in!) and hit the ground running. A quick tea while I picked through the flyers and made up the grocery list, then dishes away, dishwasher loaded, litterboxes scrubbed, garbage taken out, showered and changed and out to do some errands as well as actually buying those groceries and getting dinner made.
The end of a busy day. There is something bittersweet about the end of a busy day. Satisfying in that there is a lot that has been accomplished. Knowing that you can rest without guilt because you did something today. And that really is a good feeling. There's a pride there. Knowing that you can carve a certain number of notches in your belt and say, "Look what I did!"
It's a drug. And addicting, negative-feedback loop. You plan or do all these things. They might be several little mundane tasks or a couple of larger projects. Either way, you end up trying to do more and more. It's not enough to get the day-to-day done! Let's start something new! Baking bread, repotting plants, designing a back deck, sign up for a night school course, join a community club... it can go on forever.
The sad part is that you spent your day running around, writing things up, or just plain getting it done. Did you stop to enjoy that bit of sunshine? That tea you drank... was it hot and sweet? Did that beautiful stir-fry with fluffy basmati disappear within minutes or did you actually savour and enjoy it?
My problem is that I'm addicted to the drug and I've set myself up for the workaholic's equivalent of a cocaine 8-ball. Full-time hours at the clinic, bookkeeping on the side, and teaching an Animal Nutrition course. It's very easy to get caught up in my own little world that way. I forget that I have family to keep in touch with, that there are friends I promised to have over for lunch, or movies I wanted to see.
How to get back to that balance? Trimming the duties? I'm not sure where to trim. When I have some time, I'll have to look at that. I know what I want. I know where I want to be. Now how do I balance that?
